Category Archives: Relationships

The Need for Grace

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Some of the most emotionally healthy people I know are by no means perfect. And they do not live in a perfect world. They are people who are imperfect, who know they are, and who have found grace in Christ so they can move past their own failings — so they can forgive themselves and let Christ change their hearts. And they live among people who are imperfect. So they show those people the same grace they have received.

In contrast to this, some of the least emotionally stable people I know are those who beat themselves over the head for their failings because they cannot accept the grace God offers them. And they don’t pass such grace on to others — but instead they hold grudges, remember offenses, and keep accounts of grievances.

They live by one of two errant equations:

If I am perfect, then I will be emotionally healthy. 

That’s just plain wrong. Since you can’t be perfect, you’ll never be emotionally healthy as long as you hold to that paradigm.

If the people around me were perfect, then I would be emotionally healthy.

Wrong again.

You’ll never find a perfect family, a perfect workplace, a perfect church, or a perfect neighborhood. Those equations are just false.

This sermon speaks to the universal need we have for grace — the need both to receive and to give out grace.

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A Key to a Meaningless Life

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Some time ago, a couple came to the local churches asking for financial help. When the pastor asked, “Where do you attend church?” the answer was, “We don’t.” They are professing Christians, but they don’t go to church anywhere. This is common.

I was thinking about why folks who call themselves Christians don’t regularly fellowship with other Christians, and while I know there are a variety of reasons, I think one reason is because they have been injured in the past. Sometimes avoidance of church is symptomatic of aversion to social interaction in general.

However, God created us as social people. The phrase, “It is not good for man to be alone” does not only reveal the origin of marriage, but verbalizes our need to interact with others. This interaction is essential if our lives are to have real meaning.

Paul Borthwick stated this well just over two decades ago.

It is possible to evade a multitude of sorrows through the cultivation of an insignificant life. Indeed, if a man’s ambition is to avoid the troubles of life, the recipe is simple: shed your ambitions in every direction, cut the wings of every soaring purpose, and seek a life with the fewest contacts and relations. If you want to get through the world with the smallest trouble, you must reduce yourself to the smallest compass. Tiny souls can dodge through life; bigger souls are blocked on every side. As soon as a man begins to enlarge his life, his resistances are multiplied. Let a man remove his petty selfish purposes and enthrone Christ, and his sufferings will be increased on every side. (Paul Borthwick, Leading the Way, Navpress, 1989, p. 86)

Borthwick says a mouthful in those few words. He speaks of being significant. He encourages sanctified ambitions. He addresses the purpose-driven life.

To me, he’s saying: Brave the pain, risk the injuries, and dream big for the sake of being significant in the eyes of Christ.

Characteristics of Thankful People

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I thought this Thanksgiving week that it would be wise for us to take a Thanksgiving Quiz. This is not the standard Thanksgiving Quiz, with questions like, “How many turkeys can dance on the head of a pin?” Instead, the questions are more about your own heart of thankfulness.

So — let’s give it a try. There are ten T/F questions. Count every one you say “true” to:

  1. I follow Jesus’ example and give thanks for meals (John 6:11).
  2. When I sing songs to God, I am purposefully thanking him for his goodness to me.
  3. I have personally given thanks to God for his mercy in the past week (Psalm 136).
  4. I thank God for hard things that come into my life because of how he uses them to change my heart.
  5. I thank God for my church family.
  6. When I place my tithes and offerings in the plate, I am expressing my thanks to God.
  7. I thank God that I can do things for him (1 Timothy 1:12).
  8. I give thanks because I know it pleases God.
  9. When I catch myself being ungrateful, I apologize to God and thank him for his grace.
  10. I am careful not to give thanks simply with my lips, but also with heart.

How did you do? I hope you scored a ten, but whether you did well or not, it’s good to talk about being thankful. In this podcast, you discover three characteristics of thankful people.

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